… and he said, “How the hell do I know?” 

I think he’s dreamy.

Seriously, though.  Scruffy wants in and I might eat a cheetoh.

This is what we do in Oregon when you park your bike inside The Goodwill.  That’s right.  We don’t mess around, buddy.  Take it outside! 

I went to dreammoods to analyze my dream from last night.  There’s a category called “naked dreams” but it didn’t say anything about Brian Spencer naked, playing dodgeball, which was the main event in my dream.  Not grown-up, or high school Brian, but sixth-grade Brian in our sixth-grade gym.  Naked.  Dodging balls. 

I was watching the game from a small glassed-in waiting room with two people I didn’t know,and there was a post blocking my view so it was very PG-13.  There were only occasional glimpses, and brief because I didn’t want the other people to think I was trying to see Brian naked.  I seemed to be the only one curious.

Anyway, I couldn’t find notes on it so I don’t know what it means or whether I’m in need of emergency psychiatric treatment, but the electrician who showed up today looks like John Stamos, and I believe this is somehow related.  I’m going to go ask him if he plays dodgeball.

[Send your interpretations here.]

Not only is Wikipedia’s “List of Collective Nouns by Subject” great fun, it’s also scandalous!  The factual accuracy of the article has been disputed! 

So maybe “Scottish bankers” are referred to, collectively, as a “knot”, but maybe they’re not!  Maybe “bitterns” are collectively known as a “seige”, and maybe a large group of “bastards” is called, collectively speaking, a “shower” … but maybe, it’s quite possible… they’re not.

(Get back to work!)   

Yesterday H. sent me The Letters of Noel Coward.  I’m picking through it while waiting on Scott, our electrician. 

“I only like great and glittering success and only for a short time,” said Noel.  Hey – me, too. 

Thank you, H.!

Robert Jr., Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, and Kerry Kennedy wrote a much better op-ed than their cousin; one with substance.  One that doesn’t invoke vague and meaningless language from 40 years ago. 

[And this is the last I have to say about anything.  I mean it.]

First, let’s be clear, I’m a Democrat to my toes, but I don’t like how the primaries are going.  I leave most of the railling to A., because political frustration is a bottomless pit and I like to just live my life sometimes, but here we are … the Democratic primaries have become annoying.  There’s a bucket of problems, but the Kennedys tipped it for me so they are where I’ll start.  (And end — this site is adamantly opposed to political discourse!)

Who cares if boring Caroline Kennedy with all her dumb “My Mom’s Favorite Poem” books likes someone for President?  Why does she get an op-ed (don’t read it, it’s painful) to endorse?  She has nothing, at all, to say.  She’s been waving her poor dead parents around for years (when she’s not selling off their stuff) and we’re bored with it. There was this precious line, too, in her cliche-ridden piece: 

“I want a president .. who holds himself, and those around him, to the highest ethical standards … “ 

Sweetie, your father while in office, while married, boinked (among countless other women) your Aunt Lee, your mother’s sister!  Are you trying to be funny?  With the ethical thing?

Ted’s got a problem with Hillary, or Bill, who knows, some sort of chip on his shoulder, so ooooh … he endorses Obama with coded insults.  Passes the “torch”.  Maybe you should be President, Ted.  Oh yeah, I forgot.  You tried that.  Didn’t work out. 

And please help me understand this whole “change” thing.  Yeah, duh, we need a change from Our Friend Flicka, but how does ”change” apply to Hillary?  Hello … no one wanted President Clinton to change.  Remember?  He left office with a 65% approval rating.  No one was asking for change … post-Lewinsky, post-impeachment, no one.  This whole “change” theme the Obamas, and now Irrelevant Kennedys, are trying to sell is cheap bunk.  Nevermind the irony of the Kennedys – ”That 60′s Family” – of all people asking for change and a move away from dynastic politics. Cute, guys. 

I’m not impressed with Obama.  He looks good in a suit and gives a decent speech, but he hasn’t shown anyone much more.  Remember, Bush II was plucked out of nowhere because the Republicans needed a face, a campaign smile, someone they could sell.  Is this what the Democrats are doing?  Backing the tall guy? 

Anyway, there. I said it. 

Tomorrow:  Sex jokes and/or recipes for mango pie. Promise.

[New York Times' endorsement of Hillary Clinton.]

Ice today so no school.  Which means no work.  All play.  Well, the treadmill first. 

Edward Steichen’s iconic Vanity Fair photos go on display at the National Portrait Gallery soon.  The Times UK sums that particular era of the magazine with the line I want on my mausoleum: 

“irreverent, snobbish and always entertaining, famously designed to ignite a dinner party at 50 yards.”

I’m going to start working on those particular character traits right now!  Keep an ice bucket on the table. 

Remember the insufferable blogger at Powell’s this week?  Well at least someone called her on it.  Though I might have just gone with “boring” … or “terribly uninteresting”, or possibly “Sweetie?  Maybe you should learn how to write.” 

Um, so I guess I won’t be a farmer when I grow up.  But you still can!  And should! 

Here is my CSA talking about what it takes for two crazy kids to start up a farm these days.  And if you don’t start working harder at whatever it is you’re doing after reading it, then my name’s not George Eliot.  (That’s true, it’s not!)