Our dog Scruffy got his first boner last night.  “Boner” is a fun word to say, isn’t it?  Right up there with most curse words, which I wrote about in THE HUMAN COMEDY this week.  [I don't yet have it posted online, but click here and I'll send you four copies.] 

Anyway, the boner.  I didn’t have boy dogs growing up; or even a dog, or boy cats.  I did see a boy cat boinking my little Tabby under the deck one time, but it hardly compares with what happened last night. 

Scruffy’s first boner occurred, appropriately, in front of a full moon and it was the most fascinating, but at the same time, horrific thing I’ve seen in many years.  It was wildly disproportionate, for one.  Scruffy weighs 10-and-a-half pounds, and the boner, by my estimate, weighed 8. 

And it also went on entirely too long, like one of those side effects they boast of in the Cialis commercial.  Scruffy didn’t appear to be getting any sort of enjoyment out of it whatsever.  He looked pained. 

It did finally end, before what I thought would be an embarrassing trip to the vet, but the whole scene was jarring.  A. even, who did have boy dogs, big ones, was visibly rattled. 

I’m afraid now, for the cat.  Enjoy the sun if you’ve got it.